It started when it was discovered that one of Malawi's senior politicians was in fact a vampire on a mission to steal blood to give to international aid agencies. Investigating deeper, locals discovered that the area was swarming with vampires. Several people were stoned to death on charges of vampirism. Some travelling missionaries were harassed, and more people were injured. This sparked mild riots outside parliament. Now, it appears there is more to Malawi than mere vampirism. A pride of lions have 'escaped' (I use this word hesitantly, as their method of departure from their enclosure was due to locals tearing down the protective fence to steal the wire) from a local game park and are now on the prowl. They have already killed up to nine people, officials say, but the plot is about to thicken. Witnesses claim the lions promptly disappear after they have made their kill, leaving no trace bar the odd severed limb, and pools of blood from their unlucky victim. Unlucky, or cursed? There is talk of witchcraft at work, and it is believed that this devilry is the work of a local man who had his wife stolen by another man. This wife-stealing local was one of the first victims. So with vampires running the country, angry mobs ready to stone anyone who messes with them, and rampaging lions under a murderous influence of witchcraft bent on revenge against mankind, Malawi is without a doubt a top holiday spot this summer.